A conversation with Someone

It was that time of day when time really didn’t matter. She went in expecting some peace, but to her surprise he was sitting there, making himself at home.

 

She: Some nerve you have coming here!

 

Him:What! What’s wrong?

 

She: What’s wrong? You seriously don’t know what’s wrong?

 

Him: No…

 

She: Ah, maybe saying that a couple of million times wasn’t enough so let me refresh your memory: I’ve specifically told you that you can’t, you CANNOT come in here, what part of that don’t you understand?

 

Him: Ummm, only the part where you invited me here

 

She: Very funny…

 

Him: No it’s not! You actually did

 

She: Well I think I would remember something like that, so please, don’t make this harder than it already is and leave. Just leave.

 

Him: I don’t get it! Why do you want me to go?

 

She: Because it’s pathetic and irrational… just go

 

Him: Sorry, I can’t

 

She: Yes, you can. You can because I want you to

 

Him: You see, that’s the problem; I can’t leave because you want me to stay

 

She:  am I missing something here or you’re just unbelievably stupid? I said I want you out. This is my mind and I get to decide who comes in and who goes out

 

Him: tomaaito… tomaaaato! My point exactly…

 

She: Oh…

 

She sat down with her face colored in confusion, trying to make sense of it

 

Him: See? I told you. It’s your call

 

She: But I do want you to get out of here. I really do

 

Him: Maybe you just don’t want it bad enough

 

She: No, it’s not that! I don’t want you to go. I just need you to go

 

He fidgeted with his hands in his pockets

 

Him: So, what do we do now?

 

She: I don’t know.

 

Him: Well, then, I’ll be sitting here minding my own business while you muster enough willpower to want me out

 

She: But I can’t work like that! I can’t function! I need to think…

 

Him: It’s not me who’s keeping me here!

 

She: Well it’s not my fault you weasled your way in!

 

Him: It isn’t? Really? It isn’t?

 

She: Shut up! Just shut up! You see, that’s why I hate you…

 

She paused for a moment, contemplating that thought

 

She: Okay I know what to do! I just need to think why I hate you, and when I’m totally convinced you can go away.

 

Him: Fine by me. So, why do we hate me?

 

She: Because… because your confidence borders on arrogance

Him: and because I know what you don’t want me to say and I say it anyway

She:  and because you  make me laugh when I really don’t want to laugh

Him: and because I make you feel good about yourself when you’re really wrong and should feel bad about it.

She: and because you hate fish, because you have a lousy taste in music and because you can’t tell the difference between a poem and a play… ugh you make me sick!

 

A moment of silence

 

Him: Well…

 

She: Well…

 

Him: I’m still here

 

She: Yes you are.

 

Him: am I not supposed to disappear now or something?

 

She: I guess. What does this mean?

 

Him: It means you don’t mind any of the above

 

She: No. I’ll tell you what it means. It means I’m stupid and have a lot of time on my hands… You know what? I’ll just ignore you, you’ll die eventually…

 

Him: Fair enough. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna try to rest in peace

 

She: Let’s hope so…