Think for Yourself


I suppose everyone has heard, at least for once, complaints about women situation in the Arab world. Cries against suppression and injustice have become a part of our typical routine, and we can’t blame women for that because most if not all of us know or have heard about some woman suffering from this, openly or secretly…

I’m not here to victimize women or to draw any kind of empathy; it’s rather an attempt to spot the reasons behind this suffering.

The first thing that comes to mind when you say “suppressed women in the Arab society) is (Bingo!) Arab men. But seriously, why do they have to level all the anger at Arab men when we try to find a solution to lift the tyranny off women.

The question is not who is suppressing women, but: who gives those who suppress women (be it men or society) the chance to do that?

Answer: Women themselves.

Case in point: She married him because she wanted to get a new life, a rich man who lives abroad, what could be so risky about it? It’s true that she was engaged to him before she even saw him, but who cares!

Now she’s married, she starts to discover his dark side little by little… He drinks, he calls her names, he insults her, he treats her bad… yet, she’s dying to get pregnant and have his baby!

She gets pregnant, she gives birth, and her so-called husband tells her that she could go anywhere she wants and travel wherever she wants, but she should leave the baby with him, as if she was some kind of a brooder… Now, she gives divorce a serious thought.

I know that man can hardly be called a man, but no one forced her to marry him, she surrendered herself to him, and he’s preying on her accordingly…

Another one…

She has married him, though he was poor. Now, she doesn’t want her daughter to go through what she’d gone through before. Therefore, she wants her to marry a rich man.

Her daughter complied with her mother’s wish, and she turned down the one who was crazy about her to marry a rich man.

I can’t say that he was a bad man, but she didn’t love him, and I don’t know if he loved her or only saw her as a woman good enough to be his wife, or the mother of his children. Not mention that he’s hot-tempered and has some fatal flaws. How could a man say to a woman, who’s supposed to be his beloved wife, let alone the mother of his child:  Shut up or I will slam your jaw broken!

I don’t what her mother thinks now. She wanted her daughter to be happy, and seems like she thought money would serve the purpose… I think it was quite obvious to her that it doesn’t.

Now, if we want to cry about suppression and injustice, let’s try to be strong. Not stronger that what we can be but strong enough to choose the right thing to do and the right person to live with. Not to mention being brave enough to stand for what we want. Free your mind and don’t listen too much to what some people might say about being pragmatic, under the motto: “This is the real world”

You can’t throw a sheep among 20 wolves and then complain it got devoured…

Originally posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2006 on


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