Childhood Memories: The Crush

I don’t know when or how it started, all I know is that he was there and I liked him so much. You might think that having been a five year-old girl I was too young for such feelings, but it seem to be so innate, so pure and so intuitive that it doesn’t acknowledge the boundaries of age.

He had a dark complexion, a soft face  with delicate features and a lovely pair of sparkling black eyes that resembled those of Chinese people, but a bit bigger. He seemed very handsome to me, and I don’t think or fancy that I’ve liked him for any other reason than his looks, for I’ve never spoken to him, not a word as I remember.

The only real encounter I had with him wasn’t particularly pleasant. We were playing with the other kids in the school patio. I don’t remember what the game was or supposed to be, but everyone was running around like crazy, so it was very likely that any two people would crash into each other. What the odds were that I would collide with that particular person, I wouldn’t know, but later on life I would think it was very likely, given the weird encounter you have with those you fear most to face.

So, before I knew it, I saw his face bumping into mine, causing a painful collision that would leave him crying and me, well, silent. I don’t remember being the crying type, maybe that’s why, looking back at this, I considered him “soft”. But on a second thought, he was a 5 year-old kid; it was just natural that he cries.

Then, our teacher, in an attempt to remedy the situation, brought us together and, in front of all the kids, asked us to kiss each other on the cheek as a sign of reconciliation. No way on earth! That was the thought on my mind of course. What is she thinking?

I don’t remember what happened next, or if we’ve ever had any other encounter. I just remember that 2-3 years passed and my feelings stayed the same. Then, in the 2nd or 3rd grade, he apparently moved to another school. I don’t remember how I felt or if I felt anything at all. This is probably the greatest thing about puppy love, you move on so easily.

Looking back at those distant yet warm memories, I can’t help but wonder how he looks now, what’s become of him and if one day, one day, our paths will cross again.

Originally Posted on Wednesday, October 17, 2007 on


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