It’s been a routine by now that almost everyday I would go out walking with my mom, sometime after lunch time, before the sun calls it a day. It’s no longer walking to keep fit, it’s become a chance to relax, chill and forget the world around even exists!
So yesterday I was getting ready for the daily walk, put on my training suit, wore my sunglasses and stood before the mirror making funny faces while having a private mental conversation. I noticed my shades needed cleaning, they were very hazy. I wiped them with the hem of my jacket and went to get my MP3 player. As I did, the mental conversation I was having was getting more interesting, I was pretty impressed. I even tried to imagine my imaginary discussion mates getting impressed too, even while I was putting on my black not-so-elegant sport shoes. After all I don’t care much about looking elegant walking in the neighborhood and the surrounding areas.
My mental discussion was interrupted by the Blue Ice ringing tone of my mobile. It’s quite silly and funky that it would almost inevitably destroy anyone’s train of thoughts. It was my mom; I supposed she wanted me to hurry up, since she’d been waiting for me with in the street with our neighbor. I canceled the call and made haste.
As I descended the stairs and before I reached the front door, I noticed that I was missing something: my sunglasses. I went back up to get them, supposing they would be waiting for me on the dressing table or, at the farthest, near the TV where I stood to untangle the headset’s intertwining wires. But it wasn’t that simple.
I looked everywhere, on the dressing table, above TV, the bed, under the tossed creasy clothes, even inside the shoe closet. There was no trace of the shades, as if they have just vanished into thin air. I left no stone unturned. I looked in the same places more than once, hoping that the shades were there and I just hadn’t noticed them, but to no avail. My mother called wondering what kept me so long; I told her I was looking for my shades. She told me to forget about them because we were running late. I said I won’t be too late, hung up and went looking for the shades again.
As I noticed I was being late to no avail, I left the house without finding my sunglasses. As I left the front door my eyes had already begun to ache from the sun. My mood was screwed up, and I began thinking how would go continue the conversation in my head in such a sour mood! I spotted my mother and our neighbor in the horizon; it seemed they’d decided to to wait no longer since I took too much time. I even began having those reactive thoughts: “Great! How am I supposed to walk in the sun now? If my mom only waited a bit longer…” It was one of those moments when something trivial and insignificant happens that makes you feel terribly bad. The last stroke, I daresay. I can’t remember my features but I can tell you that much: I was by no means smiling, and nowhere near amused. I can’t even remember trying to resume the conversation; I was too busy frowning inwardly.
Among all these negative emotions, I tried to focus my thoughts on where on earth could the shades have gone. It seems to me now as I remember that I was doing a monologue in which I looked like the victim of society. I can hear myself speaking to myself as if I had a lump in my throat trying to fight back tears. I was overreacting, and I am a drama queen. “Where on earth did I put them? My nice cheap sunglasses! I was talking to myself in the mirror, then I turned to get the MP3 player and then…”
And then it hit me like a bolt from the blue. I stopped thinking of whatever I was thinking of, raised my hand above my head, slid the shades down my forehead and onto my eyes. That’s literally all I needed to do. And there I was smiling to myself, cracked up inside, utterly stunned at how simple it was to restore my good mood when I really didn’t expect it at all, and go back to that mental conversation, which was about emotional maturity by the way.
Obviously, I have a focus problem, but I’d better not worry about it now because, if you’ll excuse me, I need to dress up, think of something to entertain my thoughts on the way, and find my MP3 player.
Originally posted on Tuesday, July 10, 2007 on http://oeliwat.jeeran.com/archive/2007/7/264992.html