God, what did I do to deserve this?

I guess all of us have heard this question at some point of our lives, maybe some of us asked it themselves. For me, I always refrained from this question knowing that by asking it I will be questioning God’s wisdom and justice. So, never have I asked myself this question until yesterday.

It occurred to me as I was playing with my niece. I was watching her laugh and bounce madly in her jumper swing, and the question popped up. “What have I done to deserve this?” Or, more specifically, “what have we done so good to deserve something so beautiful in our life?” Yes, the question was finally asked, but the other way around. At first, it seemed okay to me, but then I realized that by asking this question that way I was questioning God’s generosity, which I’d better be thankful for, not question.

This reminds me of a certain incident that took place few months ago. A certain relative of mine had damaged her baby’s bottle sterilizer. She had just bought it days ago for about 50 JD’s and she was really infuriated for having it ruined so soon. So, she went on ranting about how things in her life are. I kept listening until she said: “I don’t understand! Everything I buy has to be ruined; I always have it the hard way!”

At this point, I couldn’t help bursting out. And considering that I know her very well and I know that she’s exaggerating, I went on, “What’s the matter with you? Let’s see your life in retrospect: You made it through college, which is the dream of so many girls, you had a great job, which many people are dying for, shortly after that you bought your own car which many people wish to do, then you got married to a man you love which is the dream of so many girls, then you had a healthy beautiful baby, which is also something many people long for, and now you lament your life and call yourself miserable over a stupid sterilizer?”

Yes, we often forget what we have because we are focusing on the things we don’t. We forget to be thankful because we are busy complaining. But if we thought for a moment, we will realize that there’s much to be thankful for, not only the things that bring us joy, but also those we grieve about.

Originally posted on Monday, May 26, 2008 on http://oeliwat.jeeran.com/archive/2008/5/578836.html


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