When I was a kid, like 5 years or so, I used to think that I was a genius. I might have thought that I was the smartest thing on earth. I don’t know. I thought that anything I knew was a fact.
But this wasn’t for long, for soon enough this misconcept would be shattered to pieces by my first Moment of Glory. At least the first one as far as I could remember.
We were in the car and I asked my father a question, actually I didn’t really want an answer because I thought I already knew this is true. I just wanted a confirmation for how genius I was. The question was, and this is not for weak hearts:
“بابا، صح الصبح ما بيجي إلا لما كل الناس يناموا؟”
(Dad, isn’t it true that morning doesn’t come until everyone falls asleep?”
My dad answer was a simple No that changed me forever.
So, I’m not a genius, at least not the way I thought I was (I’m still hoping I’m a genius at something). But genius or no genius, I still have some of those “Moments of Glory” and when I say moments of glory what I really mean is “What was I thinking?”
See, I’m not stupid but my problem is that I believe everything people say. Why? Because I always think “Why would they lie?” Of course that doesn’t apply to gossip or trashing other people. Well, it’s not always about that. Sometimes I’m just too literal or too, I don’t know, whatever.
For example, the other day someone was talking about a candid camera gig where they had a gorilla dance in the background on the street and what not. We laughed about it then, suddenly I asked:
Was it a real gorilla?
The answer was simple: Have you ever seen a REAL gorilla dancing like this?
Moment of Glory 2:
There was a time when I made it a habit to come to work late. And I’m not talking 15 minutes late here, I’m talking 45 minutes to over an hour late. So, I was summoned along with other 2 friends to the principal’s office (euphemism for our boss’s office). We sat in front of him as we started to make excuses for ourselves, and what was my excuse?
“طيب أنا في تحويلة على طريقي وبعدين مرات بكون في أعراس”
“There’s that detour now on my way to work, and sometimes there are WEDDING PORCESSIONS”
My boss’s reaction was the most obvious one you can imagine. “What kind of wedding is that at 8:00 in the morning?”
Well, to be fair I knew it wouldn’t fly and it would turn into a joke. It’s just too ridiculous, but I tried anyway.
Moment of Glory 3:
A relative of ours passed away so went to pay our condolences to his family. As we sat there his daughter talked about him with tears, so, I attempted to console her, meaning to say that he died after having a fulfilled and fruitful life, but the words came out a bit wrong, as I said:
“هيو شاف ولاده كبروا قدامه وفتح مجمع طبي فـ…خلص!”
“He’s seen his children grow up, he’s established a medical complex so… it’s just about enough”
Being someone who thinks after I blurt my words out, I find myself choosing between whether I should try to fix the situation or just shut up. Based on previous experience, I chose the latter.
I have many other moments of this sort, I just can’t remember them right now.