Thursday, September 10, 2009
I can’t remember the last time I wrote something just for the sake of writing, if ever, but the thing about writing as I came to learn is that even when just write without a certain purpose in mind, you begin to have more and more reasons to write. Your thoughts start to pour in, sometimes they are cascading that you don’t know where to start or how to stop. It’s an independent form of thinking, it’s like thinking loud but silently at the same time, sharing your thoughts and feelings with a white sheet or a plain document, sometimes you go on to share it with the world and sometimes you just erase everything and keep it for yourself. If only those blank sheets could speak…
What goes on inside, stays inside
I’ve been doing much mental blogging lately. You know when you’re at work or on the street and you see something or think of something and one thing leads to another, I always open a blank page in my mind and start putting my thoughts together in words. Yet, I rarely make the time to let it materialize into an actual blog post or even a facebook note. And this is making me feel bad, first because it makes me feel that I’m losing my ability to write, and second because this blog means a lot to me, it’s a part of who I am and I hate to see it deserted.
Aloneness VS Loneliness
Another thing that has been bothering me recently is that I don’t enjoy being alone like I used to. I used to love to go somewhere quiet on Friday mornings, spend sometime alone with my laptop or a book, it was one of my favorite pastimes. But now, I don’t know if I’m just being lazy or that my feelings are changing from loving my aloneness and privacy to fearing loneliness. Now I want to be around people most of the time, although before I used to say that I have no problem staying alone for hours. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, maybe it’s both, I know it’s good to get more social but I don’t want to lose the bond I have with myself, as weird as that may sound.
Tubby has been giving me such a hard time lately, I had to draw the line. You know how when you think about something and you know it’s wrong and silly but you just keep thinking about it because the nagging brat inside keeps bringing it up? I had to think out loud sometimes. I think Tubby is growing up, or maybe I am.