This subject has been on my mind for sometime now, actually it’s been bothering me so much that I almost fell in the trap of generalization, one of my biggest pet peeves, but I’m not going to lie, it did cross my mind and it was so tempting to go out there and declare to the world that, in my humble opinion, men are shallow, and therefore pathetic.
Now before anybody gets on the defensive or starts seeing red, I’m not saying that all men are shallow or all girls are deep. In fact, many girls seem to bask in the shallowness, so let’s say we’re talking here about a large part of the population. Large enough that is.
Well, we all judge by appearances, it’s just normal because it’s the first thing we see. Everyone does it, you’d see someone who looks nice and dresses nice and they instantly grab your attention. That’s not shallow, it’s basic instinct. This is not the problem, the problem is that when you discover through dealing with Mr./Ms. Charming that they have some deadly character flaws. Selfish, insanely self-centered, arrogant, hypocrite, double-faced, you name it. And yet, you still cling on to that person. This is being actively shallow, you can also be passively shallow by refusing to get the chance to know someone just because of the way they look. I’m not talking about lovey dovey relationships here, I’m talking in general, in the office, at school, everywhere.
And that’s exactly why shallow people are pathetic. They are blinded by beauty and therefore they can’t see anything past it, be it good or bad. I remember one friend complaining to me about her fiancé, she said he no longer admired her for her mind or her other personal traits, he only told her how beautiful she was and that got on her nerves. So as you can see, it’s unfair to everyone.
Again, I’m not saying all men are shallow, but let’s see what you think about this. This is a comment I read a long time ago, a very long time ago, but for some reason it stuck on my mind although I can’t remember who said it exactly, but it was a guy and he said (or wrote):
“Guys care about 3 things: Firstly, looks, secondly, looks and thirdly and most importantly looks, and any guys who says otherwise is chathaaaab (liar)”
Are you guilty as charged? Well, in all fairness one should add something for good measure. This is a part of a conversation I was having with a guy I know that, for his sake, should stay anonymous. Otherwise the girl mentioned in the conversation might be very angry. Here it goes:
– Me: So, this is serious, you’re not just fooling around?
– Him: Of course I’m not fooling around! [in a matter-of-fact tone of voice]
– Me: Good. I would’ve crushed you. Honestly though, is it because of the way she looks?
– Him: No it’s not. Actually, I didn’t like the way she looked when I first met her. But now, I think she’s very pretty! [With an expression of amazement on his face]
It couldn’t be more true, because you can’t love someone because they are beautiful, but they can certainly look beautiful because you love them. There’s a saying I really like, it says: Love is not blind, it sees more, and therefore it is willing to see less. The more you can see into someone’s soul the less the outer shell seems to matter, as well as the small and insignificant things. And this goes for all the relations we build with people.
One of the reasons I love the internet is because it lets you judge people’s personalities before judging them by their appearance. Many of the people I came to know through the net gained my respect and admiration before I knew how they look like or in some cases even learned their real names.
However, now with facebook going crazy with people’s pictures it’s a little bit harder. Just ask any girl how many friend requests she gets a day just because she has a nice profile picture of herself.
One last example before I conclude this: A guy was telling me about a certain girl and he said, “Her problem is that she’s shallow minded”. The same guy said about the same girl later, after seeing a new picture of her: “How lucky is the guy who’s going to marry her! She’s gorgeous”
I rest my case.