Mish Pointless ep. 7 [Pictures edition]

“The best time to relax is when you have no time to relax”

 

Again, books and laptop’s are man’s best friends. They never turn their back on you (laptop breaking down or low battery doesn’t count, it’s like when a friend is sick or when they die”

 

A lone ranger

 

Another sunset. I’m really glad this month is almost over. Not that it was bad, but I can use a fresh start

فعلاً: دنيا آخر وقت

كلنا بنعرف صلاح الدين، اسألوا أي ولد عمره 10 سنين بقلكم مين صلاح الدين، بس حدا بعرف كيف صار صلاح الدين هو صلاح الدين اللي بنعرفه؟

صلاح الدين حتى صار عمره 30 سنة، كان شاب عادي، كان يحب الخيل كتير وهادا كان أكتر شي بهمه في حياته، الخيل وسباقات الخيل، ولما صار عمره 30 سنة راح على مصر، وهناك شاف واحد من المحتلين الصليبيين داعس بقدمه على واحد مصري مسلم، ومن تلك اللحظة نذر صلاح الدين حياته لنصرة أمته، وكلنا بنعرف مقولته الشهيرة “كيف أضحك والقدس أسير” و

اللي ذكرني بهاي القصة إني اليوم كنت عم بقرأ عن الأسرى الفلسطينيين وقرات عن الأسير الفلسطيني رائد أبو حماد اللي قتلوه الجنود الإسرائليين ضرباً في السجن، وقرأت عن الطفل أحمد ياسر صباح اللي اعتقلوه وسجنوه مع إنه عمره 13 سنة بس. الموضوع ضرب على عصبي وصرت أفكر: يا ترى ممكن هلأ حدا يدب فيه الغضب زي ما صار مع صلاح الدين وتنقلب الدنيا؟ بلاش واحد، يا ترى ممكن أمة كاملة تثور عشان خبر زي هيك؟

الجواب: مش باين. أي نعم بدنا نتفاءل بس الوضع مش مبشر. وهاي مصيبة، بتعرفوا ليش؟ لأنه في سنة كونية كما يلي: كل ما يصير في فساد في الأرض والناس كلها تسكت عليه لازم الأرض تتدمر، وإذا مش مصدقيني اطلعوا حواليكم: لما الأطفال في فلسكين تندبح على عينك يا تاجر والمجتمع الدولي يوقف ساكت والحياة تضل طبيعية، ولما المسجد الأقصى يكون عم بنهد والناس كلها وافقة بتتفرج، شو في فساد أكتر من هيك؟ شو في فساد أكتر من قتل ناس وأطفال أبرياء بالآلاف؟ واطلعوا حواليكم وشوفوا المصايب اللي عم بتصير في الأرض، زلازل وبراكين ومصايب وبلاوي، لأنه الموضوع مش بس فلسطين، الموضوع موضوع بخص العالم كله وإذا كل الناس سكتت عالظلم، لازم يصير إشي

هادا هو آخر الزمان، فعلاً صرت حاسة إنه الدنيا بآخر وقت، والله يجعلها خالصة وخلص من هالشغلة وكل واحد ياخد نصيبه وجزاؤه اللي بستاهله! ى

Urgent: Update on Bushra’s case

I hope you still remember Bushra, if you don’t want to go through the previous post let me give you the basics in a nutshell: A pregnant mother of 2, husband in jail for accumulating debt (long story so don’t start to judge) disowned by her family, her father in law also refuses to help them, and now she’s not only due this week she’s also in a critical condition, both her and the baby, and she doesn’t even have the money to cover the delivery costs. Actually, it’s not only about the delivery costs because immediate neighbors can take care of that, but there’s also post delivery care and other things, this woman and her children have nothing.

Now I understand that most of you don’t know me and have no reason to trust me, so I thought it would be more appropriate and easier for everybody if I give you the numbers of the people in the charity through which we learned about this woman, so you can contact them if you wish to help:

جمعية مرج الحمام لرعاية الأيتام

079 67 009 09
078 67 009 09

Please spread the word!

Mish Pointless, ep. 6

– Why do we feel good when we laugh? Why does pain bother us? Is it possible that if we focused really hard we could enjoy pain, or is it purely physical?

– Do we all see colors the same way, or does every person see things in a unique way, just like no two people on earth have the same fingerprints? But if it was so, how can we ever know?

– You know the world has become a small village when your cousin sends you a message saying: “I just wanted to wish you a good morning… good night!”

Meet the Elephant in the Room

We live in a constant state of distraction. We move from one thing to another, focusing on one task at a time blocking everything else out, the things we don’t like to think about that is, or the things we like to think about a little too much. Sometimes we’re distracted by trivialities, things so ridiculous like thinking of getting your car a new paint job for no good reason. We listen to people talking about themselves, exalting themselves and they probably don’t know how annoying it is, but then you discover one way or another they are sadly mistaken, and although it becomes more annoying with that piece of information in mind, you decide to keep it to yourself.

Then there are those moments of utter silence, moments where you can hear yourself breath. Moments like those when you lie on the ground staring at the ceiling, then you close your eyes and try to think that by some sort of miracle when you open your eyes again you’ll be in a different time and place and you’ll have skipped all the dreaded steps toward where you want to go. But then you open your eyes again and there you are, still there, the same time and place, the same sounds, or lack thereof.

Yet, at the end of the day, when everyone falls asleep and you try to, you sincerely try to, and then reality and fantasy start to fuse and little by little you enter that hazy state of trance where everything makes sense until you’re shocked back into reality, and you’re forced to meet that elephant in the room that you’ve been shunning all day. You may grab a cell phone and write a message that most of the time you will decide not to send. You may cry, you may curl up and go to another place, but it doesn’t matter, because the next day, you’ll go back to square one, for another day of distraction and a new elephant you know very well, but you pretend it doesn’t exist.

The Sport CommentatorESS

I’mnot sure what was I thinking that led me to this idea but it sure reminded me of  Rand’s Post. What if there was a sport women commentator? I know many girls, including Rand, could do a great job, so the following imaginary commnentary is only meant as a joke that’s not to be generalized, so all the female football fans out there are advised to take it with a pinch of salt…

“Hello everyone, lovely day here at the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona, we’re here for the long awaited match between FC Barcelona and Real Madrid. Lovely weather today but of course you decided to stay home to watch the game, and I know that this might be annoying to your ladies but here’s a tip, a shopping spree could just get you off the hook, if you ask me I sometimes forget I’m even married when I go shopping! so whip out those credit cards if you really wanna enjoy this! [to someone beside her: Okay okay I can see the teams entered the field I was just making a point] ihem, so as you can see the teams are in and OH! Look at those cute kids standing in front of them, I think my uterus just skipped a beat! I have two lovely boys of my own, 7 and 2, the younger looks just like that cutie pie standing in front of Ramos, and look at that girl holding Puyol’s hand, isn’t she precious? I would kill to have a little girl like her, well, not literally of course but, you know what I mean…

 

So, the game kicks off, the ball is with Messi, you know speaking of Messi I’m not a fan of long hair but it really agrees with his face, he passes the ball to Xafi, great season for Xavi, I really want to like this guy but he reminds me of my ex who was a total jerk! Raul cuts him off but again Iniesta manages to… what! Wait wait, this is all happening so fast! Okay, now it’s with Ronaldo, and you know that shampoo he promotes? Well, the director here is hushing me, okay I’m not gonna say anything commercial!  But you know I wonder when will football players get into the movie scene, it’s weird we don’t see much of that, right? I mean it could be a way to get more women and Americans to watch football, but then I think that.. what? Okay, it seems that someone scored, I think it’s Barcelona and I daresay it’s… Messi, yes it’s definitely Messi! Okay, so here  we go again… 

حوار الكبار

This was written by my brother Mohammad, the biggest football fanatic I know!

في إحدى الأزمان وفي إحدى البلدان الأوروبية….. اتي تشتهر بمصارعة الثيران والدوريات الكروية…. والبعض يقول أنها إسبانيا وفي رواية أخرى أنها كتالونية…….يروى أنه حدث جدال بين حكيمين من حكماء المستديرة السحرية…ألأول إسمه شافي والثاني راؤول قائد الكتائب المدريدية….

حيث قال شافي حينها: قل لي يا صاحب الأرقام القياسية ما هي حال الريال؟ فإني أراك من كثر القلق لا تنام! التف راؤول إليه بنظرة حزن وحسرة وكأن مشاعره داستها الاقدام ثم رد بكل احترام: حال الريال كحال مظلوم ينتظر حكم الإعدام…فإني أذكر يوم كنا ملوكاً والان تمت إهانتنا بأرخص الأقلام…دعك من همومي وحدثني عنكم فقد سمعت أنكم تلقبون بفريق الأحلام!

ابتسم شافي وقال: نعم الأحلام…لدينا كل ما نحتاج إليه فعندنا ميسي الرهيب الذي لايأتي بالهدف إلا إذا كان عجيب…و انيستا الفنان الذي حين سجل هدفاً أصبحت سيرته على كل لسان وبويول الأسد الذي وعدني أن ينجب ولد لكي يبقى ليحمي من بعده هذا البلد…لدينا كل هذا ولكن أتدري ماذا فقدنا؟

قال راؤول باستغراب: ماذا؟ فرد شافي: منافسنا!!!….كان لنا منافس عتيد…كنا نلقبه بالصعب العنيد…كان اسمه ريال مدريد…ولكن الان لا أدري أيهما أقوى! هو أم بلد الوليد!؟…. فقل لي يا راؤول ما حاجتنا بكتيبتنا إذا لم يعد مدريد؟

راؤول: أحب أن أفيدك بمتى نعود ولكنني لا أعرف الان عن مدريد إلا بحدود فقد قضيت اخر عمري على مقاعد الاحتياط بالقعود…وكأنني ليس لي أي وجود! أنت تبكي فقدانك لمنافس وأنا فقدت هيبتي بعد أن كنت محطم السدود!

قاطع راؤول صوت لا يدري من أين جاء وهو يقول: غني لهم يا ناكر المعروف!!! ر

صاح راؤول: من هنا؟ فرد الصوت: أنا شنايدر الجريح!!! الذي منكم أخذت التسريح وفي إيطاليا لا أسمع إلا المديح! فكيف لكم أن تفوزو في أراضيكم وليس فيكم خير حتى للاعبيكم؟

فالتفت شافي فجأة أثناء انشغاله بغناء أغنيته المفضلة”نص نص دزينة” وقال: أنا راحل من هنا لأن عندي تمرين…سوف أترككم تتجادلو لسنين فلن تجدو حلاً للبرشا المنيع الحصين الذي للكبار هو مهين…ولكن يا راؤول الحزين إحذر شنايدر فإنه حقاً قد أهين!!! و أتمنى لكم العودة فإني في الكامب نو هناك أنتظر المنافس القديم فإن له مني اشتياقاً ولوعة وحنين … خ

فخاف راؤول من شنايدر ولكن قبل هروبه قال: كلمة واحدة حقولهالك!!! برررللم برررلللم تيرارارارا!!!

والسلام عليكم!

محمد عليوات

Bushra

My friend’s been telling me about this woman who has two children, pregnant, husband in jail because he owes money to some people and can’t pay them back, she couldn’t get a job because she’s 9 months pregnant and she’s in a real dire need. She told me that she was going to visit her and asked me if I liked to come, but since I felt uncomfortable about it I skipped.

Her family disowned her for reasons I prefer not to discuss here for fear it will make people deviate from the subject. Her father in law couldn’t bear the noise of children in the house so he kicked them out (for lack of a better word) and as I was told he has 2 plots of land that, if he sells one of them, he can bail his son out of jail. I was thinking of taking pictures of the mom and the kids maybe, maybe someone of her family sees them and their heart might be softened. Or maybe the father in law would see that his grandchildren have become a charity case while he’s pinching his pennies at the age of 80.

How could a family forsake their own daughter and let her suffer like this? Even if she did what they consider unthinkable, she’s still their daughter! And how could a man who probably doesn’t have left in his life more than what has already gone be so callous toward his own flesh and blood? What could be so important?

The ironic thing is, it turned out that this woman lived one house away from my home. She’s our neighbor! Now I can ramble on how ashamed of myself I am but no words could do. I mean, someone who’s that needy lived in the same street and I had no idea. The prophet, Peace be upon him, told us to care for our neighbors and help them in numerous sayings that everyone who’s been to elementary schools know. What will I tell him on Judgment Day?

My friend visited her and she told me that she was so humbled by how positive that woman is! She said she has a very strong faith and she’s not afraid of anything and thinks nothing should make her upset as long as Allah is with her.

By the way, her name is Bushra and her family lives in Germany. I thought it could be worth mentioning, it’s a small world you know…

We always say how feeling helpless is the worst thing in the world, by the same reasoning, being able to help someone shouldn’t be the best feeling in the world? We think that we help those people, but in fact they help us because they give us a chance to be human…

You know you need B-12 when…

Last Thursday I collected a check for some freelance job I did. Somehow, I read on the check that it was from Citi Bank. I went to City mall since the banks there work until 10 PM and on weekends, but there was no branch for citi bank there, so I decided to wait until the next week. I thought there was but it turned out that it was Capital Bank. Likewise, I thought there was a branch for citi bank near my workplace but it turned out to be Capital Bank.

Long story short, I remembered there was a branch for citi bank in Abdoun, so I went their during the lunch break. I parked easily, went into the bank to find that I was the only client there so I was glad to think that this won’t take long. I handed the check to the teller who looked at it and said:

 This check is from Capital Bank, this is Citi Bank

I don’t know how the words “Caputal Bank” read “Citi Bank” to me, but one’s got to appreciate the irony of the situation. I mean it would’ve been less ironic if it was any bank other than capital bank.

People are telling me to get some B-12. Well, the other day I opened the cupboard looking for something sweet and I completely missed the huge jar of Nutella staring at me, maybe I do need B-12!