من كل عقلك؟

قبل فترة جبت كتاب مختارات من شعر محمود درويش، يعني واحد متعب حاله وجايب قصائد مختارة من دواوين محمود درويش، لطيف! ومش بس هيك، في مقدمة الكتاب كتب المؤلف “من دون ذكر أسماء” بالحرف الواحد: “أما عن عملي بهذا الكتاب فكان على النحو التالي، حيث أنني قمت بشرح بعض المعاني التي بها بعض الغموض وغير واضحة للقارىء” 0

وإليكم بعض الأمثلة على هذه الكلمات العجيبة التي قد تستعصي على فهم عامة الناس، بتعرفوا الواحد مش فاضي يقعد يدور في المعاجم والقواميس


وليحيا الاستخفاف بعقل القارىء العربي

A conversation with Someone

It was that time of day when time really didn’t matter. She went in expecting some peace, but to her surprise he was sitting there, making himself at home.

 

She: Some nerve you have coming here!

 

Him:What! What’s wrong?

 

She: What’s wrong? You seriously don’t know what’s wrong?

 

Him: No…

 

She: Ah, maybe saying that a couple of million times wasn’t enough so let me refresh your memory: I’ve specifically told you that you can’t, you CANNOT come in here, what part of that don’t you understand?

 

Him: Ummm, only the part where you invited me here

 

She: Very funny…

 

Him: No it’s not! You actually did

 

She: Well I think I would remember something like that, so please, don’t make this harder than it already is and leave. Just leave.

 

Him: I don’t get it! Why do you want me to go?

 

She: Because it’s pathetic and irrational… just go

 

Him: Sorry, I can’t

 

She: Yes, you can. You can because I want you to

 

Him: You see, that’s the problem; I can’t leave because you want me to stay

 

She:  am I missing something here or you’re just unbelievably stupid? I said I want you out. This is my mind and I get to decide who comes in and who goes out

 

Him: tomaaito… tomaaaato! My point exactly…

 

She: Oh…

 

She sat down with her face colored in confusion, trying to make sense of it

 

Him: See? I told you. It’s your call

 

She: But I do want you to get out of here. I really do

 

Him: Maybe you just don’t want it bad enough

 

She: No, it’s not that! I don’t want you to go. I just need you to go

 

He fidgeted with his hands in his pockets

 

Him: So, what do we do now?

 

She: I don’t know.

 

Him: Well, then, I’ll be sitting here minding my own business while you muster enough willpower to want me out

 

She: But I can’t work like that! I can’t function! I need to think…

 

Him: It’s not me who’s keeping me here!

 

She: Well it’s not my fault you weasled your way in!

 

Him: It isn’t? Really? It isn’t?

 

She: Shut up! Just shut up! You see, that’s why I hate you…

 

She paused for a moment, contemplating that thought

 

She: Okay I know what to do! I just need to think why I hate you, and when I’m totally convinced you can go away.

 

Him: Fine by me. So, why do we hate me?

 

She: Because… because your confidence borders on arrogance

Him: and because I know what you don’t want me to say and I say it anyway

She:  and because you  make me laugh when I really don’t want to laugh

Him: and because I make you feel good about yourself when you’re really wrong and should feel bad about it.

She: and because you hate fish, because you have a lousy taste in music and because you can’t tell the difference between a poem and a play… ugh you make me sick!

 

A moment of silence

 

Him: Well…

 

She: Well…

 

Him: I’m still here

 

She: Yes you are.

 

Him: am I not supposed to disappear now or something?

 

She: I guess. What does this mean?

 

Him: It means you don’t mind any of the above

 

She: No. I’ll tell you what it means. It means I’m stupid and have a lot of time on my hands… You know what? I’ll just ignore you, you’ll die eventually…

 

Him: Fair enough. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna try to rest in peace

 

She: Let’s hope so…

 

 

18 Facts You Need to Accept in Order to Live Happily

That you’re not the center of the universe

That people could hate you for the wrong reasons

That you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try

That some people don’t know you exist

That some people do know you exist but they choose to ignore that fact

That some people do know you exist and they are fully aware of that, but they still don’t care

That you will embarrass yourself in front of other people

That old habits die hard

That some people insist on being on your life, against your will

That some people will push you out of their life, also against your will

That sometimes you would do something stupid, probably unintentional,  which will hurt people you care about and they will hate you and you will have to live with it

That even doing the right thing could have consequences, but you still have to do it because it’s the right thing

That some people don’t realize that what they keep saying over and over does in fact hurt other people and they won’t just shut up

That people have different criteria for judging things and people

That ignoring the elephant in the room probably won’t make it go away

That the fantasy world you built in your head exists only in your head

For the Love of Horses… Again!

 

I think I may have forgotten how fun it could be to go out alone, but thanks to my busy friends, I re-discovered that.

So it’s Thursday and most people would have plans. Personally, Thursday could be the less likely day of the week for me to do anything other than going home. So, this Thursday since I finish work early I thought I’d go see the horses, and since none of my friends were available to join it was a chance to have some quality time with myself, and the horses.

I had a book with me but I didn’t spend much time reading, for when I glanced two horses grazing freely in a nearby fenced area all my senses suddenly shifted focus and carried me towards them.

This white horse walked up to me as soon as it saw me standing by. I usually like it when horses do that but there was something off about this one. It reached out with its nozzle and got too close to my face that I pulled away, and it was a good move as I found later on. That horse was trying to bite anyone, and you could tell that by looking at its ear that were slanted backwards. But that didn’t stop me from playing with it, you just have to be careful how you touch it so you!

  

  

Then, I moved over to that horse. Honestly I thought it was dead, but it turns out it was just resting! You can see it up and well in the background of the second picture

 

I also got to discover that horses can eat gigantic amounts of apples! I have only fed a horse once before so it was a breakthrough for me to feed a horse 6 to 7 apples at a time! The horse then went crazy for more… you need to be careful with those horses, they could get easily spoiled by treats!

Now we come to the best part. I totally fell in love with this horse. It’s called Sahara. Very friendly, and it didn’t bang the stall’s door asking for more apples! Classy… I also discovered that horses love it when you stroke their ears! It was hard walking away and leaving it, and it wasn’t just me, there was a girl I met there today who’s also obsessed with horses, so that was another good thing that happened today as I’ve made anew friend… Don’t you just love going out alone!

I’m Not Responsible

 

  

 

I’m not a theatre critic, but I can speak for myself and say that I was impressed by the fact that Ghassan Al-Mashini’s “I’m not Responsible” was a one-man-show, and with good substance too. Yet, I was disappointed because I felt it was too short and incomplete, and I’m pretty sure everyone else in the theatre was too since we were expecting to see more. The end of the play seemed like a sudden halt.

 

The play consisted of a series of monologue in which the sole actor, Mashini, takes on 5 different characters: A member in the Parliament, an ordinary Arab citizen, Qadhafi, Yasser Arafat and Hitler.

 

The other thing I found surprisingly impressive was his impersonation of Arafat. Actually, when he first appeared dressed up like Arafat I thought it would be another lame attempt at ridicule, but as he went on it turned out that he wasn’t trying to be funny, he was actually trying to get a message across, and a very good message.

 

After the show Ghassan Mashini came out to the stage and urged people to encourage the theatrical movement in Jordan, for theatre is an outlet for people to vent out and to have their say, as well as being the father of all arts.

 

Here are some of the pictures I managed to capture…

  

 



Just a few pictures, and comments…

 

I love it when the sky takes on the shades of purple! As for theJordan Gate towers I’m not really comfortable about having such tall buildings in Amman but I have to admit, they’re good for the pictures, they look good in the background!

 

This is my cousin’s daughter,  we were at my aunt’s house and everyone was gathered in the living room but she chose to sit alone in a less crowded place to draw on her own. She was totally focused on her art. Don’t you love it when kids show such glimpses of promise and creativity?

 

A scaredy-cat horse. She looked funny standing behind the stall’s wall like that as though she were trying to sneak a peak. I’m telling you that horse seemed to have serious issues, she’d flinch just like that! I’m also not sure if it’s a she but male horses are usually more agressive

 

 “Please donate to help with the treatment for the cancer you’re causing”. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a good idea, but I couldn’t help but notice the irony in this.  A pound of prevention is worth an ounce of cure. It’s time we took some more strict measures about things that cause cancer in the first place, say, second hand smoking in closed areas!

خاروفي

Now that’s creative, I wonder why hasn’t anyone thougt of that before! Sheep-shaped Eid cookies… Eid Al-Adha, maybe tey can make some Crescent shaped for Eid A-Fitr.

Found those in a pastry shop in Shmeisani called Vanilla & Caramel, it’s run by a very talented lady who makesthese cookies and other stuff!

Happy Eid everyone

[Very] Small Talks

Hala (حلا) is a 3 year-old girl who redefines the word “perspective”

Me: Hala, what color is your dress?

Hala: purple…

Me: wow, purple! And you shoes?

Hala: Purple… (points to her white socks) and this is yellow

Me: no, this is white

Hala: No it’s yellow, mom said it’s yellow

Me (to her mom): Did you tell her that is yellow?

Mom: No… but it’s okay she’ll pin it on me by default

Me: Okay Hala, what color is your hair?

Hala: white!

Me: No Hala, your hair is yellow and your socks are white

Hala: No!

Me: okay, what color are your eyes?

Hala; Black, like yours!

Me: No Hala, your eyes are blue

Hala: No! They are black

Me: has this girl ever looked at herself in a mirror?

God help us…