It was that time of day when time really didn’t matter. She went in expecting some peace, but to her surprise he was sitting there, making himself at home.
She: Some nerve you have coming here!
Him:What! What’s wrong?
She: What’s wrong? You seriously don’t know what’s wrong?
She: Ah, maybe saying that a couple of million times wasn’t enough so let me refresh your memory: I’ve specifically told you that you can’t, you CANNOT come in here, what part of that don’t you understand?
Him: Ummm, only the part where you invited me here
She: Very funny…
Him: No it’s not! You actually did
She: Well I think I would remember something like that, so please, don’t make this harder than it already is and leave. Just leave.
Him: I don’t get it! Why do you want me to go?
She: Because it’s pathetic and irrational… just go
Him: Sorry, I can’t
She: Yes, you can. You can because I want you to
Him: You see, that’s the problem; I can’t leave because you want me to stay
She: am I missing something here or you’re just unbelievably stupid? I said I want you out. This is my mind and I get to decide who comes in and who goes out
Him: tomaaito… tomaaaato! My point exactly…
She sat down with her face colored in confusion, trying to make sense of it
Him: See? I told you. It’s your call
She: But I do want you to get out of here. I really do
Him: Maybe you just don’t want it bad enough
She: No, it’s not that! I don’t want you to go. I just need you to go
He fidgeted with his hands in his pockets
Him: So, what do we do now?
She: I don’t know.
Him: Well, then, I’ll be sitting here minding my own business while you muster enough willpower to want me out
She: But I can’t work like that! I can’t function! I need to think…
Him: It’s not me who’s keeping me here!
She: Well it’s not my fault you weasled your way in!
Him: It isn’t? Really? It isn’t?
She: Shut up! Just shut up! You see, that’s why I hate you…
She paused for a moment, contemplating that thought
She: Okay I know what to do! I just need to think why I hate you, and when I’m totally convinced you can go away.
Him: Fine by me. So, why do we hate me?
She: Because… because your confidence borders on arrogance
Him: and because I know what you don’t want me to say and I say it anyway
She: and because you make me laugh when I really don’t want to laugh
Him: and because I make you feel good about yourself when you’re really wrong and should feel bad about it.
She: and because you hate fish, because you have a lousy taste in music and because you can’t tell the difference between a poem and a play… ugh you make me sick!
A moment of silence
Him: I’m still here
She: Yes you are.
Him: am I not supposed to disappear now or something?
She: I guess. What does this mean?
Him: It means you don’t mind any of the above
She: No. I’ll tell you what it means. It means I’m stupid and have a lot of time on my hands… You know what? I’ll just ignore you, you’ll die eventually…
Him: Fair enough. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna try to rest in peace
She: Let’s hope so…