Social Media Conversations

Him: I’m home… and I’m so exhausted I can’t even think straight

Her: Well, that’s strange. It seemed you didn’t have much work to do at the office today

Him: What do you know? I had a very busy day

Her: well, yeah, busy chatting with MY friends on Facebook !

Him: Wh… what friends! What are you talking about?

Her: Oh you know what I’m talking about! I mean, look, if you want to comment on my friend’s picture it’s okay, I’m fine with that, but would you at least use the “Like” button responsibly? I mean, PLEASE who likes a picture of a 35 year-old woman hugging a teddy bear?

Him: What can I do? She likes every single post on my wall and comments on every photo… I had to like something and honestly liking any other photo on her profile would make me look like a pervert

Her: What are you talking about?

Him: Oh, crap

Her: Oh I get it! That loser has me on limited profile. That’s it! I’m removing her and you are too

Him: But… what if she asked why? I mean, I don’t care but she’s your friend

Her: Who cares?  And for the record, she is not my friend, I just met her at a birthday party for like 5 minutes and the next thing I know she adds my husband as friend and he’s flirting with her while I’m standing there like an idiot!

Him: It was just one comment

Her: Really? When was the last time you wrote me a comment? Even on my birthday you didn’t even send me a gift! It cost 1 dollar you cheapskate!

Him: Well that’s because I threw you a surprise party and bought you a real actual tangible very expensive gift

Her: Don’t change the subject! You don’t even like my status messages anymore

Him: Maybe that’s because 99% of them are whining and complaining

Her: And can’t you at least try to comfort me or show some public support? You used to do that back when we were engaged! You used to like all my photos and poke me all the time. You don’t poke me anymore! Each time I see a poke I get excited and then it’s some pervert who’s trying to hook up. And it hurts, it hurts so bad! The other day at work my boss caught me crying in front of the computer and I had to tell him I remembered my dead mother. Can I tell him I’m crying because my husband is too busy digging through my friends’ profiles to even poke me? Of course not!

Him [head hanging down, voice cracking]: I’m sorry

Her: What happened to us?

[A moment of silence]

Him: So… what do we do now?  You think we should consider counseling?

Her: Or we can  take a picture together and post it as profile picture. And you can’t change it until I tell you. Some PDA wouldn’t hurt either, just make sure it’s visible to all our friends and networks…

3 responses

  1. Facts:
    A) This man has multiple anonymous FB accounts that he uses to (Stalk!) wife’s friends and see who would interact and “give him Eye”.
    B) He tells his friends about these women,and usually pitches in one of em to get the Eye “of Sauron!” for themselves, “It’s called looking out for your fellow buddies”.
    C) I don’t blame him for looking outside,cause Allah y3eeno she seems all in all nikdeh, ou she should be grateful that he showered her with pokes and likes when they were engaged, now she demands social media attention as well? man I don’t envy that guy.
    D) No man who reads PDA would think it’s anything but a gadget or some mobile device, I looked it up and I still thinks of gadgets every time I read it.
    E) If you’re still reading this then your life is really empty and you have a serious work commitment issue.

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