[Wife staring at a computer screen, fiddling with the keyboard, she turns to the husband with squinting eyes and a sly smile]
Her: This is funny. I’m trying to send you a direct message on Twitter but it doesn’t seem to work. This new Twitter is monkey business I tell you!
Him: Yeah, or maybe it’s just because I’m not following you [chuckles nervously]
Her: haha. [Pause]. You’re kidding, right?
Him: Well, I… No
Him: Honey, don’t take it personal
Her: No I am taking it personal! How else would I take it? I’m your wife, why wouldn’t you follow me? The freakin’ mother of your freakin’ children
Him: I know, and we’re married on Facebook but this is Twitter, it’s kind of different. It’s just that I go there to read about certain subjects and I’m not interested in the things you tweet about
Her: Aha, interesting. I mean, it’s interesting that you don’t find me interesting
Him: I do find you interesting; it’s just that I want to read about politics and sports while you flood my timeline with tweets about food and parenting
Her: Yeah, of course you’re not interested in parenting; why would you be interested in that? after all I won those children in the lottery. And since you’re not interested in food then I think I don’t have to cook anymore. Maybe I’ll find time to tweet useless crap about Juventus winning La Liga
Him: actually Juventus doesn’t compete in…
Her: whatever, don’t change the subject! This is insane, everyone follows their wives. Suad’s husband not only follows her he also FF’s her every Friday. He even has “Married to @Suad333” in his bio
Him; [chuckles] Yeah, saw that. I mean what’s next, a joint Twitter account?
Her: And what’s wrong with a joint Twitter account?
Him: It doesn’t make sense, it’s like using the same tooth brush
Her: You’re gross. Anyway, you know what? I don’t want you to follow me, really. In fact I’m unfollowing you too. But you did give me an idea for a new interesting hashtag: #MyJerkHusband
Him: Oh come on, you wouldn’t do that
Her: Do you think so? Will, you’ll never know because I’m protecting my tweets too
[She walks off]
Him: Protecting her tweets! Gotta be careful with those nuclear secrets…
Him: Wait, does that mean I’m sleeping on the sofa tonight?