Social Media Conversations 2

[Wife staring at a computer screen, fiddling with the keyboard, she turns to the husband with squinting eyes and a sly smile]

Her: This is funny. I’m trying to send you a direct message on Twitter but it doesn’t seem to work. This new Twitter is monkey business I tell you!

Him: Yeah, or maybe it’s just because I’m not following you [chuckles nervously]

Her: haha. [Pause]. You’re kidding, right?

Him: Well, I… No

Her: Oh…

Him: Honey, don’t take it personal

Her: No I am taking it personal! How else would I take it? I’m your wife, why wouldn’t you follow me? The freakin’ mother of your freakin’ children

Him: I know, and we’re married on Facebook but this is Twitter, it’s kind of different. It’s just that  I go there to read about certain subjects and I’m not interested in the things you tweet about

Her: Aha, interesting. I mean, it’s interesting that you don’t find me interesting

Him: I do find you interesting; it’s just that I want to read about politics and sports while you flood my timeline with tweets about food and parenting

Her: Yeah, of course you’re not interested in parenting;  why would you be interested in that? after all I won those children in the lottery. And since you’re not interested in food then I think I don’t have to cook anymore. Maybe I’ll find time to tweet useless crap about Juventus winning La Liga

Him: actually Juventus doesn’t compete in…

Her: whatever, don’t change the subject! This is insane, everyone follows their wives. Suad’s husband not only follows her he also FF’s her every Friday. He even has “Married to @Suad333” in his bio

Him; [chuckles] Yeah, saw that. I mean what’s next, a joint Twitter account?

Her: And what’s wrong with a joint Twitter account?

Him: It doesn’t make sense, it’s like using the same tooth brush

Her: You’re gross. Anyway, you know what? I don’t want you to follow me, really. In fact I’m unfollowing you too. But you did give me an idea for a new interesting hashtag: #MyJerkHusband

Him: Oh come on, you wouldn’t do that

Her: Do you think so? Will, you’ll never know because I’m protecting my tweets too

[She walks off]

[Door slams]

Him: Protecting her tweets! Gotta be careful with those nuclear secrets…


Him: Wait, does that mean I’m sleeping on the sofa tonight?

3 responses

  1. Hehehe, some do take social media too seriously 🙂

    Once Khaled decided to “clean” his Facebook account and changed his relationship status, I had endless phone calls and messages asking me why did they know we were divorced from Facebook!

    But I can totally see this happen btw!

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