A Conversation with Tubby – 2

He stood in the hallway, his frizzy hair almost blocking the light, carrying a bunch of DVDs. The poor thing looked perplexed by all the text and color; the good old man had a black and white memory and view of life. His anxiety was cut short when he finally asked:

Tubby: So, what do you want to watch?

Me: I don’t know… you pick

Tubby [with a touch of excitement, which always happens to him when he’s asked to make any kind of decision, once in a blue moon in other words]: Oh, okay… let’s see, this one looks intriguing but I feel like seeing car crashes and some blood here and there, let’s watch this, I’m a sucker for action movies

Me: Okay.

[After a few beats]

Me: You know what, on a second thought I don’t think I want to watch an action movie, I already feel like there’s a drumming band inside my head, how about something a little bit more mellow? I know, let’s watch Pride and Prejudice, again.

Tubby: Yeah, right. Okay, as you like. [Then murmers] Typical

Me: What did you say?

Tubby: Nothing of interest to you

Me: No, you said “Typical”. What’s that supposed to mean?

Tubby: Look, it’s no big deal, there’s nothing wrong with being a control freak

Me: Who are you calling a control freak? I’m not a control freak! It’s just a stupid movie, pick anything you want, I don’t care

Tubby: It’s not about the movie, this is what you do all the time.

Me: Tubby, you’re obviously growing more and more senile by the minute. I asked you to pick a movie but then I realized your taste in movies suck, end of story. No need to give it a dimension it doesn’t have. Not everything has to be “deep” and indicate subliminal stuff and what not.

Tubby: No, this has to mean something. Haven’t you noticed? You always ask people to make decisions for you…

Me [interrupting]: because I don’t like making decisions

Tubby: Only to suggest something else, so you end up making the decision anyway, you know why? Because it makes you feel in control, whatever they decide makes you feel out of your element.

Me: This is a stretch, I’m not always in control

Tubby: True, but you still feel there’s something wrong when you’re not, don’t you?

Me: What are you getting at? You’re giving me a headache

Tubby: Just admit it, admit that you like being in control

Me: it’s not that I like it, idiot! It’s just that it makes me feel…

Tubby: Safe?

Me: Comfortable, I guess

Tubby: Now we’re getting somewhere

Me: But you know what? Sometimes it sucks, because sometimes it’s not easy to take the right decision so you wish that there would be someone who would take the wrong decision on your behalf so you won’t feel guilty. Do you know what I mean?

Tubby: I’m not sure actually

Me: Ah, forget it. Bottom line is, if I could hire someone to make all my decisions for me I would do it in a blink

Tubby: Yes, and you would fire them the next day

Me: Try me, are you up for that?

Tubby: Isn’t that what I’ve been trying to do all my life? But you won’t let me take any decision, you just follow your stubborn mind

Me: But, you’re supposed to be a part of it, you know. Aren’t you part of my rational thinking?

Tubby: Do I look rational to you? I’m a soft person, I’m in charge of the emotional decision making process You just think I’m rational because sometimes I’m right, the heart doesn’t have to be wrong all the time

Me: Well, better safe than sorry

Tubby: I thought you were one to take risks

Me: calculated risks, the things you try to pull are just insane

Tubby: Give me a chance, just this time

Me: Well, I guess I just might, it’s just a movie after all

Tubby: I’m not talking about the movie

Me: Oh, well…


One response

  1. Can I borrow him/them (?) for a while, like 40 years (renewable of course!) 😀
    he is very much like my (طربش) , which troubles me! ;D

    IT is a HE, right? 😛

    “who would take the wrong decision on your behalf so you won’t feel guilty” or ashamed or open -too-!

    ya Ola u need to spill the فاصولياء and give us the gypsy lady`s address! U know, the one that is giving u all those accesses to our heads! 🙂

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