I’m in a funny mood tonight; I’m hoping it’s a good thing. And I’ve realized something today and I feel like writing but I don’t know what to write so all these factors have come together to form a perfect storm actually that I decided, why not write about what I realized? Well, in retrospect it looks like the obvious thing to write about
Anyway, I realized that I have a lot of fear and trepidation inside me. Of course I didn’t realize that because to people I usually seem like this girl who speaks her mind and rants about things that get me into endless debates with other people bla bla bla… but really, I’m a coward. Seriously, I know I could be bold talking about general stuff, criticizing social standards and what not, but there are certain things that I’m just too afraid to talk about, which is why I look like an idiot sometimes because the words are struggling to come out and my subconscious mind is struggling to suppress them. Many times I’m afraid to say what I want. Many times I answer with a “No” while inside of me I’m like “YES!”
But that’s nobody’s concern; I’m just talking to myself. Funny mood, I told you. Now the funny mood comes from another realization: I stopped caring. About what? Well, things I should’ve never cared about. People I shouldn’t have bothered with. And it’s funny, really, and I have no idea why. Just like I have no idea why I’m writing this, with a big smile all the way.
I had a good exercise today, perhaps I just have an excessive amount of endorphins.
Anyway, if you reached this point in the post, why would you even read this?