He stood at the door, cringed at the sight of me munching on my fourth carrot…
Tubby: Oh no! Carrots again, that can’t be good
Me: What? Carrots are good, very healthy
Tubby: Yes, and a good choice to avoid binge-eating when distressed
Me: I’m not depressed if that’s what you’re alluding to…
He threw me a suspicious look with the side of his eye…
Me: Okay, maybe a little. You now that feeling when you feel like there’s lava boiling in your guts? You feel like you want to shout or cry or anything but nothing comes out? If that’s what you mean then hello depression!
Tubby: *sigh* what is it now? You were fine yesterday
Me [shouting angrily]: And where on earth have you been? Leaving me prey for other imaginary jerks, how did you let me do that? You should’ve locked me inside the house and swallowed the key!
Tubby: I’m truly sorry, but if I may remind you, you threw me out the window and decided to do whatever you wanted.
Me: Can you please shut up and stop showing me how stupid I’ve been?
Tubby: Okay… now just calm down and tell me, what happened?
Me: well, I don’t know how to put it. Let’s see, imagine that you found an abandoned baby on the street, you took it home, took care of it for months and then suddenly someone showed up claiming it’s theirs and they took it away from you and left you sitting there empty-handed. And you can’t object because it is indeed their baby, they gave birth to it, but you’re the one who nurtured it until it could talk and walk…
Tubby: You know it’s been so long since I was a baby or saw one, so if you can give me another example…
Me: Okay you old grouch… suppose you spent 10 months building a lego castle, and then someone appeared and said they owned that lego and asked you to tumble it down to pieces so that they could take it away with them…
Me: to the grave… what do you care? Focus Tubby! How would you feel about that?
Tubby: I’d feel quite bad, even if it was their lego, but I built the castle
Me: Exactly. See, this is what I’m feeling now. I feel angry and empty. You can’t work on something all this time and then have it taken away from you overnight
Tubby: Could I do anything to help?
Me: Do you know any black magic?
Me: Kidding. I don’t need black magic. I can feel all the negative energy and all the anger going out and reaching those people
Tubby: Baby snatching lego thieves!
Me: I really don’t know what to do…
Tubby: You just care too much, I dare say. You know what? Go get your baby back, dress him in different clothes, it will be the same baby but no one will ever recognize it…
On a second thought that sounds like kidnapping. Build the exact same lego castle, don’t change it, just switch some pieces, let them take their rotten lego and go to hell, use your own lego
Me: I’m trying to figure out a way to do that but it’s not working, I need some of their lego too
Tubby: You know if anyone is reading this I think they would be quite confused right now. What are we talking about exactly?
Me: Just forget it… I’ll just wait for apathy to settle in, and then let’s see what I’m prepared to do.