I found him nestled above a tree, all shaggy and famished. The sound of munching leaves gave him away.
Me: Where in the world have you been? I left no stone unturned looking for you. Come on down.
Tubby: How would I know you will not hurt me?
Me: Come on now, you know we never really hurt each other
[He rolled his eyes as if trying to remember something]
Tubby: Have I never hurt you? I do remember you getting angry once or twice.
Me [sighing patiently]: You provoked me, that’s it. The only time you really hurt me was when you disappeared on me.
[He looked suspicious]
Me: Besides, I really have no energy for that. I just want to talk.
[He began his descent hesitantly]
Me: Oh my God! You look miserable. Let’s get you some clean clothes and an IV drip.
[An hour later]
Me: Now we can go for a walk, you need to stretch your legs after two weeks of crouching between branches.
Tubby: I wouldn’t mind that.
Tubby: And what and?
Me: Didn’t you miss me?
Tubby: Well, I guess, I was waiting for you to find me.
Me: Just waiting, to doing anything to help me find you
Tubby: You know how my mind works. In my head waiting counts as doing.
Me [sigh]: Okay, I’ll give you a pass this time considering I was the one who drove you insane. Speaking about waiting, I’m reading now this book, it’s a play actually, “waiting for Godot”
Tubby: What is “Godotte”?
Me: Not Godotte, Godot, the T is silent. It’s a French name.
Tubby: And since when do you know French?
Me: I don’t. The play was originally written in French but it’s for an Irish writer.
Tubby: Why would an Irish man write a play in French?
Me: He lived in France for a good deal of his life, what do you care? Now focus with me, I was talking about waiting.
Me: So it’s about two men waiting for a man called “Godot”, all the while talking about all kinds of things to the point of absurdity, like thinking about hanging themselves up just for fun.
Tubby: That is sick!
Me: Well, you’re entitled to your own opinion but I will tell you it’s one of the most acclaimed plays of the 20th century, if not the greatest of all, so your opinion is both insignificant and utterly ridiculous, with all due respect.
Tubby: What about el3eyal kebret?
Me: Will you let me get to the point?
Me: Actually the play is considered highly philosophical and controversial. There has been a lot of speculation and deciphering trying to figure out what it means. There was this theory that waiting for Godot actually meant waiting for God. You know, sitting around helplessly while hoping for a miracle from God to change everything.
Tubby: Couldn’t they just ask him?
Me: Well, they did. He dismissed them saying: “Why does everything has to be complicated? Maybe they are just two men waiting for a man who never shows up”. And he said: “If I meant to say waiting for God, I would’ve said waiting for God”.
Tubby: The man has a point. I like him, can you introduce me to him?
Me: He’s dead, Tubby. Anyway, I do believe that he didn’t mean waiting for God but I don’t believe he was just talking about two men waiting for a third. There is a theme there, waiting for something as opposed to working towards it. Just like what you were doing up that tree. Haven’t we all done that at some point?
Tubby: just like you’re doing now.
Me: whoa, no, no, no! I did everything in my power, there’s nothing else I can do but wait. Hence, I decided to move on to more important matters and stop waiting. Waiting is torturous.
Tubby: Maybe that’s all the author wanted to say, just that two men were waiting and it was boring.
Me: Oh please, Tubby! I mean, look at our conversations. Nobody really knows what they are about. How much more the greatest theatrical work of the 20th century.
Tubby: I’ve ever thought much about our conversations.
Me: That’s because you never had to. You know what? How about I put our conversations in a book?
Tubby: WHAT? No, no… no!
Me: Why not?
Tubby: How could you put them in a book? These are our private conversations!
Me: ummm, Tubby, you realize I blog them, right?
Tubby: I know, but how many people read your blog anyway?
Tubby: I’m just being realistic. But if you want to turn them into a movie then I’m all for that, provided Hugh Jackman plays me. They can make him look like a hundred year-old man, they did it in Les Miserables.
Me: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Just forget it, right now I really want to write some fiction, and fictional conversations, and fiction!
Tubby: And I need a nap…