قاطع… أو لا تقاطع

وأتمنَّـى أن تتفهَّموا موقفي من الرقص الشرقي، الذي أُعاديــه، فقط لضرورة المعارضة، ذلك أن البنت الجزائرية “مُعارضة خلقة”، تأتي إلى الوجود “حاملة السلّم بالعرض”، ولا تنزل من بطن أُمها إلاَّ بعد “أُمّ المعـــارك”، وبعد أن تكون قد “بطحـت” أُمها، وتشاجرت مع القابلة، وهدَّدت الدكاترة في أوَّل صرخة لها، بنسف المستشفى إنْ هم لم يصدروا بيانـاً يُندِّد بالإمبريالية، ويُعلن مقاطعة حليب نيدو الذي تنتهي مكاسب الشركة الأم “نستله” المنتجة له ولنسكافيه في الخزينة الإسرائيلية.”00

* من مقالة لأحلام مستغانمي

استوقفني السطر الأخير. رجعت بالذاكرة لبدايات الألفية وانتفاضة الأقصى وانتشار دعوات مقاطعة المنتجات والشركات الداعمة لإسرائيل. ولعلها كانت نعمة مزدوجة، فمن يدري كم من الدهون والكيلوغرامات تم اختصارها من حياتي بالامتناع عن شراء “كيت كات تشانكي” و”تويكس” و”مارس” وغيرها من أصناف “الهباب” الذي كان مدرجاً على قوائم المقاطعة.0

لكن كما هو الحال في أي قضية عربية مهما بلغت درجة ثوريتها على مقياس الوطنية والانتماء، بدأ الحماس الأولي يضمحل شيئاً فشيئاً ليتلاشى وتصبح المقاطعة ترفاً وطنياً ومثاليات عديمة المعنى تنحصر في بعض الحالمين والحزبيين من أقصى اليمين أو أقصى اليسار. أما في المنتصف حيث وقفت متذبذبة معظم حياتي، عاد الناس يرتادون المطاعم الأمريكية ويتهافتون لشراء المنتجات ناسين أو متناسين أو منكرين أحياناً حقيقة أن جزءاً من أرباحها وضرائبها يصب في الترسانة الإسرائيلية على شكل سلاح وذخائر. وأصبحنا نسمع تبريرات جادة أحياناً وساخرة أحياناً أخرى حول جدوى المقاطعة ومدى تأثير امتناعك عن شراء حبة كيت كانت على أرباح شركة نستله والاقتصاد الإسرائيلي.0

في البداية، أو بالأحرى في سنوات الحماسة والاندفاع والأحلام التي تبدو أقرب من حبل الوريد كنت أرد بأنه لو بدأ كل شخص بنفسه فسيكون للأمر تأثير، ولو امتنع كل من يتذرع بتلك الحجج – وما أكثرهم- عن شراء هذه البضائع لكان لهم تأثير حتماً، مسألة حسابية بسيطة.0

لكنني غيرت رأيي.0

أنا حين أمتنع عن شراء “نسكافيه 3 في 1” أو غسول الوجه من “جونسون أند جونسون” أعرف تماماً أن ذلك لا يؤثر في أرباح تلك الشركات أكثر مما ستؤثر حصاة في المحيط الأطلسي. الأمر لا يشكل فرقاً بالنسبة إليهم، لكنه بالتأكيد يشكل فرقاً بالنسبة إلي. إنها محاولة بائسة للإبقاء على بعض من احترام النفس، حصن الدفاع الأخير أمام الشعور بالعجز الكامل والشامل عن فعل أي شيء. ربما لا يمكنني فعل شيء يذكر لنصرة فلسطين، لكنني على الأقل أحاول ألا أفعل شيئاً لدعم إسرائيل، مهما كان عديم الأهمية. هي محاولة لتفادي الاستسلام التام في قولك: “أي تأثير سيكون لي إن قاطعت أو لم أقاطع؟”. موقف أخير رافض للاعتراف بأنني أصبحت إنسانة بلا تأثير.0

أتكون هذه مشكلتنا الحقيقية؟ اقتناعنا بأننا مسيرون. قطعان من البشر تتحكم بها الدول الكبرى والأنظمة الرأسمالية ، لا حول لنا ولا قوة سوى الانصياع لهم متحللين تماماً من أي وهم قد يهيئ لنا – لا قدّر الله- أنّ لنا قولاً في ما يحدث من حولنا.0

لهذا قاطع، أو لا تقاطع، سر مع القطيع أو تمرد عليه، لا تبرر ولا تعطي أعذاراً لأحد، فالأمر يعنيك أنت في النهاية.0

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Tips for a less Crappy Valentine’s Day

It’s that time of the year again, brace yourself for angry messages showering your timeline on facebook and Twitter condemning Valentine’s and objecting to this practice of singling out one day of the year to celebrate love, this universal notion we should celebrate on daily basis.

Well, that is absolutely right, and I do respect the idea, but I can’t help but think that the motives behind these messages might not be quite in accordance with the spirit of love. Actually, I think that the angrier the message, the bigger the denial, the bitterness and the dire need for love in the heart of that person. And being married or in a relationship doesn’t exempt you from that theory, by the way.

But don’t feel so bad, we are all guilty of that, aren’t we? It’s just so tempting to diss Valentine’s and the people who celebrate it. Too many jokes to be made, too much annoying romantic rubbish.

So, for the love birds out there, some PDA is okay, overdoing it or cheesing it is NOT okay, it seems like you’re just looking for an audience and it’s quite pathetic, to put it mildly. Oh, and we know that some of you only flirt on facebook, in real life it’s Grapes of Wrath. We, the audience, know, and we don’t like it.

Anyway, for those who are still on the safe side, it’s good to take this opportunity to remind yourself with some basic rules of thumb to avoid being a victim of those feelings of bitterness and negativity at some point:

 

– No matter how much you love someone, that doesn’t mean that you can change them with your love. This mistake is mostly made by women, because they are women.

– Don’t be foolish and go for words, love is a verb. If he makes you feel good about yourself, tells you nice things or sounds flirtatious or concerned at times that’s by no means enough to say that he loves you. Maybe you’re just filling a certain void for him.

– Selfish? Run for your life. A selfish person cannot love you, he’s too consumed loving himself. Love is an act of giving, a person who can’t give love would not be able to receive it. So, unless you hate yourself enough, stay away from him at the first signs of selfishness or gross narcissism.

– If he’s too afraid of commitment, let him go. Pressuring him into something could lead to disastrous ramifications, not the least of which is that he’d be bored soon enough and would try to paddle away from you as fast as he could. You want someone who wants to be with you, not someone who feels like he’s doing you a favor.

– Remember that not everyone will get to find and experience true love during their lifetime. And it’s perfectly okay. But also keep in mind that you can experience real love in all different forms, ranging from a baby nephew to a pet turtle.

– Remember: Once a disappointment, Twice a disappointment, Thrice a disappointment, always a disappointment.

– And for God’s sake remember: If someone likes you, he will tell you. If he doesn’t tell you, then he doesn’t like you. You swallow your pride when you’re in a relationship, not before, you idiot.

– Finally, five golden words to keep in mind: “I don’t need this crap”.

For the Love of Chocolate

Like hundreds of millions of people all around the globe, I’m a self-confessed chocolate lover. Actually my relationship with chocolate goes beyond love, chocolate for me is a confidant, a best friend, I have faith in chocolate more than I have in some people. It’s that magical effect it has that when you’re happy you feel it shares your joy and when you’re sad or angry it soothes you, telling you “it’s okay, I’m here for you”. But the chocolate effect is best felt when it hits you out of nowhere. You know, when you haven’t had any for days and then you have that accidental piece of chocolate and when the cocoa hits your taste buds you feel like it’s the elixir of life no less. When it comes to chocolate, it’s always a matter of quality over quantity. That precious little dose of fine chocolate with tea or coffee gives it a glamorous air of its own, because chocolate must be treated with respect. Well, except when my nieces delve into a jar of Nutella – nothing classy or respectful about that-. But again, Nutella isn’t really chocolate so it’s okay. We still love it though. Chocolate makes a perfect gift too. Think about it, when you give someone chocolate it’s like saying: “I don’t think you’re fat”. It’s the ultimate expression of love and respect. Just try to avoid it when it’s for a woman who has just given birth, she’d be thinking of how to lose the weight already and it could be really insensible on your part. Of course chocolate is a relative word. I once made it clear that “if it’s not dark, it’s not chocolate”. Milk chocolate is for people who can’t handle real chocolate, and white chocolate is not even chocolate. The biggest debate however was when I declared that Nutella wasn’t chocolate either, it’s actually a hazelnut and cocoa spread and it was invented because chocolate was very expensive at some point in Europe, so it’s basically a cheat, candy disguised as chocolate. But after all, what’s in a name? It’s Nutella, you can call it zucchini paste and it would still taste as good. Now if you asked me what my favorite chocolate is, I couldn’t possibly give an answer. It’s like asking which of your 100 kids do you love the most, and you can’t even remember their names. But here’s a tribute to some chocolates, or at least what’s commonly known as chocolate, which I’ve been particularly fond of:

Pretty much anything Lindt

Milk, dark, mint, orange… as long as it’s Lindt it doesn’t matter. I particularly love their dark chocolate with mint or orange flavor, it offsets the bitterness while maintaining the needed cocoa mass for your blood stream. Both your taste buds and your brain cells will rejoice. IMG_4710 IMG_9873

orange

Godiva Milk Chocolate Dipped Strawberries

Actually strawberries are one of my favorite things in the world. I can easily eat a box of them in a couple of days by my own, a healthy addiction that can also whiten your teeth. Of course it’s not as healthy when it’s dipped in chocolate but it’s probably the most delicious thing in the world. Sadly, this one is a long distance relationship as it’s not available in Jordan, only when I’m traveling or when someone else is traveling, but Nutella dipped strawberries can be just as good and even better.

Godiva-Milk-Chocolate-Dipped-Strawberry

Cadbury Caramel

In fact, it’s anything Cadbury, but this one is special. For if there’s anything in the world I love as much as chocolate, it has to be caramel, which is an evil evil things that does you no good other than giving you tooth cavities, spiking your blood sugar and putting you on cloud nine indeed. It just tastes so good that you forget how bad it is for you. Anything with caramel is a favorite with me, but Cadbury caramel candy bar takes the prize, it’s even better than the caramel stuffed Lindt chocolate bar, I guess Lindt’s caramel is too fancy for my taste. This is the real thing. caramel

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…And This

Dark chocolate and marzipan, talk about  a winning combination. I just love marzipan and I think it’s so underrated. It’s a thing of beauty actually. I like other editions of Ritter too, I like how they come up with some limited edition every all the time. Like the strawberry and wafer one. Their dark chocolate is pretty good too.a013_marzipan_rlRS-73-fine-dark